I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
