yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize