so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
