You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
