i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
