whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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