My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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