yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize