Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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