The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
