She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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