You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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