So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize