I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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