I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
