Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
