can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
