Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
