hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
