Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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