3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
