My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
accomplished twins. life is a go
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
