I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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