A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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