I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
