I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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