i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
