i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
