I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
