Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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