Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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