just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Randomize
