im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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