Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
