I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I woke up under a house in Key West
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
