Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You are a genius and a whore.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
