God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
