I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize