i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
