What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
