i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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