using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
