Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
two words: eviction party
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
