We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
