Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
