i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
where does the pee come out of this thing
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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