Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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