dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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