At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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