Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
