i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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