It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
