I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i need some magic done to my vagina
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
