Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
