Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
im six kinds of drunk right now
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
