Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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