I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
