erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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