I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i've created a new STD.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
