end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
