There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
