those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize