Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Sober January is a disaster.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
