He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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