I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
