Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
