Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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