physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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