Ambien. No doubt about it.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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