just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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