...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
BRING THE BAGELS
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
