i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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