What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
