so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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