i'm signing you up for texting rehab
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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